Imran Khan: Pakistan’s Hybrid of Barack Obama and Michelle Bachman

Before I proceed writing this article, I’d like to put out a few disclaimers. The first is that though I have never liked Imran Khan the politician, I greatly respect him and what he has already done for Pakistan. The second is I know this article is the definition of drawing room politics, as I write from the comfort of my apartment in DC while most of my friends are still drying off from attending the figurative and literal ‘tsunami’ of Khan sahab’s speech last week. That being said, I have a few observations to make, feel free to agree or discard them.

Like most of Pakistan I watched Imran Khan address a packed crowd around Minar-e-Pakistan on Pakistan Day. Actually, it was more than just Lahoris, a close friend of mine from DC went over to join the festivities. Almost everyone I know from Aitchison had either found their way onto the stage by Imran Khan since his nephews were our classmates, or were content dancing in the rain with everyone else. Salman Ahmed, with the help of the one and only DJ Butt, help lift the spirits and keep things moving (though to be quite honest, ‘Naya Pakistan’ is nothing short of garbage music).

To get that many Pakistanis braving the elements to jump and scream with joy in the hope of a better tomorrow is really something. No matter what one thinks of Imran Khan, you have to tip your hat to the level of optimism and enthusiasm shown at a time where the electricity seems to be gone more than it is supplied, inflation has bent the back of even the most well-off families and the most corrupt government in the history of Pakistan has just completed 5 years. It is similar to the enthusiasm I saw sweep across the US when Barack Obama was running for office. George W. Bush’s tenure was finally up, and the Americans were probably as relieved to see him go as we are to see the back of Z. America was also in the midst of the greatest economic crisis since the great depression, so the campaign slogan of ‘Hope’ really galvanized the country.

Fast forward 4 years and the election was nowhere near as exciting or uplifting. Instead of voting for hope and change, people seemed to be voting for the guy who wasn’t the Mormon. Ok, maybe that’s an over-simplification, but the hype that had been built up around Obama ended up working against him. Even though the country was in better shape than when he took over, unemployment was still high, Republicans and Democrats still didn’t get along, and Guantanamo remained open. In the same way, if we fast forward 4 months, sadly Imran Khan will not be Prime Minister, corruption will still exist, and all of Pakistan will be a hot sweaty mess because load-shedding is here to stay. I’m no polling expert, but to go from the one seat PTI has ever won to 170+ in order get control of the National Assembly is a jump not even the most optimistic supporters can truly believe in. That’s not to say that Imran Khan has been wasting his time. Even his staunchest enemies concede that he is likely to get at least 20-30 seats. That would be no mean feat. In the previous near two decades of PTIs existence, they have won only one seat: IK’s seat in Mianwali. Anything over 15 seats would be a huge success, and a massive step forward.

On a quick, slightly irrelevant, side note, it seems that Barack Obama is quickly approaching the levels of hatred in Pakistan his predecessor enjoyed. My only question is why it took this long for people to realize Obama’s inept foreign policy initiatives. From his very first interviews as a candidate back in 2006, Obama vowed to take a dump on Pakistan by violating its sovereignty, if necessary. His expansion of the drone policy is simply fulfilling his campaign promises.

The other American politician I see traces of in IK is a much less flattering comparison (not that the last one was meant to be flattering). Michelle Bachman, to my dear Pakistani friends not aware of her, is a crazier lesser known version of Sarah Palin. Unfortunately I don’t have time to elaborate on the dozens and dozens of examples of her wackiness, but the one thing I remember most about Bachman is her constant references to Church, and how apparently her Lord Jesus had wanted her to lead the American people. You see, to the conservative right of America, this ‘socialist left’ regime of Barack Obama is as bad as Z being in power back home, so she was God’s answer to save America. She didn’t last long. The reason I bring her up is because the actual content of Imran Khan’s speech, at least the part till DJ Butt started taking over, was quite awful. Every 3rd line seemed to be some version of Surah Fateha: the first tid bit of the Quran every Muslim learns. He kept referencing Islam in the strangest way possible, clearly forcing his right wing roots to try and appeal to his base. Imran Khan is an extremely cocky man, which is fine, he did win us the World Cup after all, but in his demeanor, it would appear that he also views himself as divinely appointed to rule. Don’t get me wrong, next to Z and Nawaz Sharif, IK is as good as Ricky Ponting, Steve Waugh, Kapil Dev and Imran Khan rolled into one when it comes to leadership. However, it would be foolish to think he can part the sea and lead us to the promised land.

Imran Khan’s constant references to religion is about as blatant a ploy as there is to appeal to the main voting block of Pakistan: conservative. This is politics after all and I can’t really fault him for that, but that doesn’t excuse the excessive references to religion. There is a better of way of bringing religion into play. For the record, I believe in Jinnah’s original idea of a Pakistan where people are free to live, irrespective of cast, religion, etc. However, that was 1947, and now we are the Islamic Republic of Pakistan and the idea of a secular state is as plausible as Shiv Sena winning the next elections.. in Pakistan.

I am a big believer of hope, and personally a believer in religion. However, religion is personal and though I don’t think it should be a big part of politics, the fact of the matter is that Islam is part of the constitution. Hope also needs to be tempered with realism. With a few adjustments, Imran Khan can avoid appearing as loony as Michelle Bachman, or as disappointing as Obama.

In the meantime, please vote and get everyone you know to vote!

A Tribute to my Father

This past Wednesday, on November 28^th, 2012, after over 10 years of service to the Higher Education Commission, my father was unceremoniously, and illegally, asked to vacate his position. After failing to remove Dr. Syed Sohail Hussain Naqvi from the HEC for the last few years, the Government decided to assign the additional responsibility of the Executive Director of the HEC to the Secretary, Ministry of Education and Trainings. In doing so they have, for the moment, created a stalemate in the HEC since my father was appointed, as per law, by the full Board of Governors of HEC (The Commission) and cannot be relieved of his duties in this arbitrary manner. This is illegal because my father was recently given a 4 year extension by the Commission consisting of people appointed by the Prime Minister of Pakistan. Legally, the Prime Minister can appoint members of the Commission, and that is where his powers end. Appointment of the Executive Director is the prerogative of the Commission and not any other person or body, including the Prime Minister of Pakistan.  Knowing of this restriction, the Pakistan People’s Party first tried to declare the original appointment of my father in 2004 as Executive Director back, as illegal. This argument is, of course, ridiculous as confirmed by no less an authority than the best legal mind of the Pakistan People’s Party, Aitzaz Ahsan, who stated that everything about that appointment process was absolutely legal.

I might be beginning to sound a bit long winded, but as the person in question is my father, people will automatically assume that my bias will skew the facts. I am simply trying to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the government is 100% in the wrong. Of course with the PPP in power, that’s not going to be hard. Why don’t we start by looking at the performance of the Higher Education Commission over the last 10 years. The quality assurance system of Pakistan is now universally acknowledged, 6 universities in Pakistan are internationally ranked by QS Rankings and research publications have skyrocketed. Along with this, the number of university campuses have increased from 168 to 258, which has led to student enrollment to increase from 330,000 to over 1,000,000. In this expansion of students in the higher education space, there has been a particular focus on women. The percentage of women enrolled in universities has gone up from 36% to 46%. Balochistan and FATA have also been a focus, with over 3000 scholarships launched for residents of those generally neglected areas of Pakistan. In the first 55 years of Pakistan’s existence, we awarded 3,281 PhDs. Over the last 10 years, since the founding of the HEC, Pakistan has had an additional 4,850 PhDs. The research papers published by Pakistanis in international research journals have gone up from 816 in 2002 to 6300 in 2012. 

            

I have barely begun to scratch the surface. I think it is fair to say that the HEC has had a tremendously positive impact on the country. This of course is not down to my father alone. Everyone from Dr. Atta-ur-Rehman to the gardeners and security guards at HEC have played their part. That is not to say that the HEC is perfect. There is a lot of room for improvement, and no one recognizes that more than my father. He is constantly striving to learn from his mistakes, take on the advice of others and grow and move forward. Not too long ago, he caught an employee, Ms. Shaheen Khan, of his stealing money. Now even the most die-hard PPP supporters that the HEC is nothing if not clean. Money laundering expertise is a requirement for working in a PPP government, but since the HEC is an autonomous body, to put it eloquently: that shit don’t fly here. Of course this woman was welcomed back with open arms by the PPP, and has been a catalyst in the demise of the HEC. She has also since then acquired a PhD which is reputed to be an eloquent translation in Urdu of a lowly report.

            

Over the last 5 years, ever since I got my license, I have had one bone to pick with my dad. He never lets me drive the HEC car. Never. Perhaps when I first got my license I could understand why, but when I last went home I was (and still am) 23, I had owned my own car for over 3 years and had driven well over 50,000km. Yet, I was still confined to that piece of junk we own; a 2001 honda city. The reason? The only people legally allowed to drive the car are the drivers, my dad and my mom. So I am allowed to be driven from A to B with a driver, in the Corolla, for my own errands, but yet I’m not allowed to drive. Ah well, that’s the law, and that’s the way my father is. I disagree with that, my view is that the car is for his use, and for his family to use. I am not about to take his Corolla on a road trip to Gilgit and back, but it would be nice to be able to go get a haircut without having to worry if the ol’ Honda can make it up the next hill. Oh and by the way, while my family is rolling around town in the Honda City, Shaheen Khan is tearing up the roads of Islamabad in a Mercedes.

            

Maybe the issue is that my father is not qualified enough. I mean, integrity isn’t going to solve our education problems alone. At the end of the day you need someone smart to be running things. Let’s have a look then at Daddy’s LinkedIn. In short, he graduated Hasan Abdal top of his class, graduated Purdue University with a perfect 4.0 GPA and a PhD in refractive optics at the age of 25 , was a tenured professor at the University of New Mexico before the age of 30, helped start up a company which made cutting edge machines that measured dimensions of nanometer sized structures, was the Dean of Electrical Engineering at GIK Institute of Science & Technology, VP of Operations at Enabling Technologies, and of course, Executive Director of the HEC for the past 8 years, now internationally recognized as a model of higher education reform in the world.

            

I could go on forever, I really could, of my father’s amazing qualities, attributes, and overall dedication to his country. I could not be prouder of what my father has achieved already, and at 50 years he is only getting started. I have seen him pour his heart and soul into a job, and the job has been rewarding. He has fought for every bit of funding for the students of Pakistan, he has travelled from Gilgit to Karachi viewing institutions everywhere and taking in advice in how to improve them. He has earned the respect of almost everyone he has come into contact with, whether they agree with him or not. He taught me that being patriotic does not simply mean bellowing the national anthem at the top of your lungs, it means putting in long hours at a job when you know you could be making more money elsewhere. After 24 years of working, he makes less today than his first salary! It means putting up with the crap the politics in our country brings. It means finding ways of being optimistic when everything around you is crumbling. It means that when your own government tries to outs you for doing the right thing, you simply go home to help your youngest son with his homework tonight.

            

Regardless of how the Supreme Court rules, nothing can take away what my dad has done for Pakistan. I leave you all with a praise of my father that has always resonated most with my. Arif Kiyani is definitely someone none of you have ever heard of. He has no relation to General Kiyani, far from that actually. He first started to work for the University Grants Commission in 1989 as a driver, and was there when it became the HEC in 2002. He has often told me of how much he admires the conduct of my dad, but the best thing he said was “Sahab wo insaan hai jis ne aaj tak mujhe ‘tu’ tak nahi kaha”. Loosely translated, it means my dad is someone who has never once in all his years working with Arif Bhai addressed him by ‘tu’, a casual and sometimes disrespectful way of addressing someone. Our Holy Prophet once said you can judge a person by the way the treat people in a lesser position. Please, by all means, judge away. 

Top Ten Notes From the Friend Zone

For those of you who don’t know me, hi, my name is Shazil Naqvi, and I am President, Prime Minister, Chief of Army Staff and King of the Friend Zone. Why, do you ask, is this relevant at all? Well, I spent a good 30 minutes on the phone with one of the other Rickshaw writers, catching up, talking about life and running my latest blog idea by him. I wanted to write about ‘Drawing Room Politics’ and Imran Khan. Boring, was Umair’s response. People are sick of redundant political articles, and who wants to hear what an American educated Pakistani is writing about from his drawing room in Ireland. Fair enough. The conversation then progressed to Umair’s date, and I started laughing my ass off because it was the type of date I have been on too many times: the friend date. You have no hope with the girl, but your wallet gets a fair bit lighter. After arguing a bit, Umair quickly realized my expertise on the matter, and I realized rather than writing about Mr. Khan, perhaps I should stick to my strengths and write about the dreaded friend zone.

Disclaimer: These notes are in no way meant to help you avoid the friend zone. If I knew how to do that, I wouldn’t be writing this damn thing. These are merely observations of my time in the friend zone, and are meant to be enjoyed and laughed at. I will try mixing some fiction in, so that I can try and mask some of the identity of friends to spare them some embarrassment. It may sound like I’m giving out advice here, but for the most part I’m just talking to myself.

1. The ‘playa’ cousin: Here I will not try in the least bit to hide the identify of this person. My best friend in the entire world also happens to be my cousin, who is 18 months older. Over the years, good ol’ cuz and I have taken a, shall we say, different approach to life. We are polar opposites, but that’s why we make such a good pair. The only reason he knows the friend zone exists is because I live here. He himself has no problems when it comes to women. In fact, the last time we hung out was at a wedding, and I watched as he walked by a crowd of girls who all turned for a second glance and then started giggling. My point here is one would think having a cousin who is your best friend being such a ladies man would help your game, right? FALSE. Since my cousin and I have such a fundamentally different approach to life, he is unable to understand my failings, and therefore cannot really help me. So instead he finds the funny side of it all as he recognizes he can’t help. This has dire consequences, as any girl even loosely associated with him becomes out of the question. Either he has some interest in them himself, with his “shazil don’t ever close any doors” philosophy, or he has brought these girls in on the joke that is shazil’s (lack of a) lovelife. Mostly it’s a case of both. In any case, my first note from the friend zone is that having a playa cousin doesn’t help.

2. texting/iMessage/WhatsApp/gchat/fbchat/anything: So you think you’ve done the hard part, gotten a girl’s number, or added her on facebook. Once upon a time, getting a girls number was reason to celebrate, shout from the highest rooftop, or go yell in someone’s face “How do you like them apples?” Not really the case anymore. If anything, getting the number is the easy part. Once you get the number you need to decide what in God’s name you are going to do with it. You can’t call, who does that anymore… or can you? I mean go old fashioned, right? Nope, let’s stick to texting. Okay.. how do you start that? Eventually you get the hang of how to text, except here is where I still struggle. Girls are amazing at showing just enough interest to keep you interested, but you are still doing all the heavy lifting. However, if you find yourself sending 4 or 5 texts for every text she sends, and having to ALWAYS initiate conversation, give up man. Here is an example of a text or chat message I might send: “So how much do you miss me?” Ugh. Hurts to admit I have texted that to more than one girl. Here is the response: “Haha”. Not “hahahahaha”. Just “Haha”. Sometimes they will proceed to ask how you are doing, you respond, and that’s the end. Too much effort just to get a “Haha”.

3. Coworkers: Having only been in the workforce for just over a year, and only having had one job, I’m still a learner in this department. Here is what I’ve learned so far. Not a good idea. This may sound like a cliché , but I’m saying this from personal experience, here is why. At work, you can’t really choose your coworkers like you can choose your friends. They’re just there, and you have to make do with them. So automatically you have to endeavor beyond a natural amount to try and get along with them. You might luck out, like me, and work with truly wonderful people, and develop amazing lifelong friendships from work. Key word here being friendships. In any work environment, it would be very easy to mistake a few good conversations over gchat to be sparks. I don’t care what eharmony says, sparks don’t fly online. Also, going back to an early point, if you initiating all these conversations, no matter how much you enjoy them, it’s a bad sign. You’ll probably just end up wasting your time trying to time your trips to the kitchen to coincide with hers, and most of the time you’ll walk on by without saying a word. Every time you buy yourself a snack, you buy her a snack, and someone else in the office too in a weak attempt to hide what you are actually doing. If  you want to buy someone food, buy your guy friends food. Everyone has that “Jughead” friend who can eat and eat and eat, manage to stay insanely in shape, and they always appreciate being brought any type of food. It’s a way more rewarding experience. That reminds me, I need to send some food to a buddy in Hoboken, probably needs the ration anyway.

4. There is a league: Have you ever seen the movie “She’s out of my league”? It’s about this guy who is a 5, who happens to start dating a 10 (these are the movies ratings, not mine, I agree with the girl being a 10 though). Of course in the end, guy gets girl. This movie is the cruelest movie ever made. It is a lie, and fills your heart with false hope. Again, I’m not just saying this; sadly my observation is again based on personal experience. Senior year of college, I ran into this girl at a party who was in my dorm freshman year. This girl was of course stunningly gorgeous, in fact I later learned she was actually a model, along with being a fashion designer and entrepreneur. Damn impressive woman. Now freshman year having just arrived fresh of the boat from an all boys boarding school in Pakistan, I had no clue what to do say, so obviously I said nothing. Fast forward a few years and I learned what to say: “Hi my name is Shaz” (note: not Shazil, takes forever to explain how to pronounce and the moment will be lost). Well that was easy enough. I had a great conversation with her, but left the party without her number. My college roommate, who God bless his soul did his level best to get me out of the friend zone, told me to march back in there and get her number, so I did. I felt like I had just conquered the world. So much so that I even asked her out on a date, to grab coffee (or so I thought, stay tuned). We had a lovely, well can’t call a date, so let’s say a lovely rendezvous. Talked for 2 hours in my favorite little coffee shop in Ann Arbor, Comet Coffee. Got a nice little hug at the end of the night (if that doesn’t spell friend zone I don’t know what does) and that was it. When I got home, that same roommate was appalled that I hadn’t set a follow up, and demanded I call her up and ask her out for dinner. So I did. The next day I damaged my ankle ligaments playing soccer, an old high school history, and while I was on the X-ray table in some amount of pain, my “date” called me up to tell me actually she had a boyfriend. At this point I just started laughing, didn’t say much, hung up and I don’t believe ever talked to her again. I regret that, she was amazingly cool. I am LinkedIn with her though!

5. Your other cousin’s friends: This is how I like to view the world. Most of the beautiful women in the world are Pakistani, at least in my eyes. And the most beautiful Pakistanis are Lahoris. And all beautiful Lahori girls go to one school: LGS Defense (an all girls K-12 school). Now, it may just happen that your cousin, who is only a year younger than you went to this school. Perfect! You have an in! You even get along with this cousin like she is your twin. This will work out great, right? Nope, not even close. What ends up happening is that almost automatically you end up taking on the same role with these girls as you have with your cousin: bhai (brother). You will end up driving them around during weddings, picking and dropping from train stations, being the typical friend, but you never really have a chance of forming a relationship after having started off as a bhai. This of course has disastrous consequences, as your cousin happens to be the most popular girl in Lahore. That wipes out the city of Lahore, and if you can’t have a Lahori girlfriend, no point in having one at all.

6. Swinging for the fences: After years of getting no where with your approach of wanting to get to know someone first, one might be inclined to go swinging for the fences the next time they are smitten. In theory this sounds like perfect, finally from the get go your going to let a girl exactly how you feel, rather than meandering through the friend zone. Here is the problem, you will meet someone incredibly gorgeous, and more importantly, with an amazing personality to go with her looks. So you will let her know exactly how highly you think of her, how your jaw drops every time you see her, and that your heart skips a beat every time you even think of her smiling. Of course first you do this via texting, but emboldened by your new approach you have the gall to tell her in person of her magical smile, effortless grace, I could go on. I mean this girl turns the most ordinary of into a charmer whose dialogues could rival any Shakespeare love story. Problem is, no one is ever going to take you seriously with this approach. The age of the hopeless romantic has gone, and all of this effort is rather wasted. Well not entirely wasted, it’s endearing, in a, you know, friendly way.

7. Siblings: It’s one thing to take the piss out of yourself. It’s another thing altogether for your younger siblings to be doing this. You see, my younger sister and brother have had no such problems with relationships, and good for them. Of course this means that big brother becomes the target for a bit of fun. My grandmother recently called me up in a panic about my being single, and told me to even get an Irish girl. Can you imagine how frazzled a Pakistani grandmother must be to encourage her eldest grandchild to get an Irish wife? This was all because my sister, being the absolute delight that she is, had a bit of fun with poor ol’ grandma and convinced her that it is very worrying that her 26 year old grandson has never had a girlfriend. I’m 23, and my sister is well aware of this. She could barely control her laugher when I called her about it. On a side note, if you find yourself pouring your heart out to your younger sister’s even younger boyfriend about how the door may be permanently closing for the love of your life, you got problems.

8. How about a hug instead?: Regardless of how hopeless you perceive yourself to be, everyone gets chances. Even me. Before my last year in high school in Lahore, I spent a summer at Brown taking some summer courses. This was my first real experience of living and interacting with girls my own age, as at the time I was still living large at my all boys boarding school back home. I learnt a lot that summer, and of course made it to the friend zone in record time with most of the girls there. However, probably my high school buddies favourite part of my stories from this summer, is when a girl asked to cuddle with me, and my response was: “How about a hug instead?” Point here is that it on occasion will take great effort to stay in the friend zone on your part, whether it’s avoiding a girl who came to a summer camp especially to spend time with you, or avoiding a girl on the dance floor who is eyeing you up. For the most part, you won’t really regret staying in the friend zone, or no zone at all with these advances. For the most part, that is.

9. Girls with boyfriends: Maybe the problem then is that you want to be in the friend zone, it’s comfortable, safe and low risk. How do you know if you are comfortable in the friend zone? A good indication of this is when you find a large amount of your crushes are on girls with boyfriends. It’s the safest play in the friend zone book. You can develop a friendship with someone you have a genuine interest in, never have to make a move, and still go to bed with a smile on your face thinking about her. Because she has a boyfriend, none of your friends will push you to do anything, and you’re more than happy with the odd cup of coffee or lunch together. You can even go Dutch on the bills. And eventually you will just come to terms with the fact that this girl is just a friend. Problem is I have definitely met a girl or two who would be PERFECT if they were single. It just so happened at the time they had a boyfriend, sometimes in England, sometimes in New York, and even if they are single later, you got to know them when they weren’t and that’s it. One of the many drawbacks of being in the zone.

10. Enjoy it!: For all my grumbling and rambling about the friend zone, I’m really only taking the piss out of myself. I actually love the friend zone. It means I have an abundance of friends, and who doesn’t love more friends! Most of the girls I liked at some point have gone on to be my greatest friends. In fact I really regret not keeping in touch with the girl I mentioned earlier who was the model and ended up having a boyfriend. So what? She was cool, and I definitely wasn’t going to marry her, but I could have at least had a friend who was up and coming in the fashion industry and was wicked cool. Pretty girls have enough guys trying to avoid the friend zone, even by being a sleaze ball.  You don't need to try and follow them. Eventually you’ll find someone who loves you after liking you. It’s possible. In the meantime, I will continue ruling over the friend zone till my mom/grandmoms/aunts/everyone starts getting after my life to get married. But that’s a good few years away. Of course, in those few years the one that really got away might get away forever. In that case, rock out to Daler Mehndi, and rock on in life!

Pakistan's Untold Story?

Graduation is approaching once again in Ann Arbor, a scary sight for recent alumni. It means that I have been out of college for a full year now, while my co-drivers at the rickshaw have been out of college for 2 years. 2 years is also about the age of our doomed blog, as it was Emad and Umair’s departure from Ann Arbor that prompted us to start this blog, a way to keep in touch and share our views to the world. The idea was to be different, fresh and relevant.

Fast forward 2 years and we are about as relevant as relevant and fresh as Margaret Thatcher. I can’t speak for the other two dimwits who write this blog with me, but personally the biggest challenge has been avoiding the general rhetoric that one sees in oped pages in our newspapers. Everyone has an opinion and thinks that they are right, without quantifying it with research. In an ideal world, I would like to write on things with a solid base of research, but having a job tends to get in the way of that (not to mention I don't write for a newspaper!)

What eventually inspired me to stop procrastinating and start up the rickshaw again was attending a panel discussion in DC about Pakistan, led by none other than our dynamic Finance Minister Dr. Hafeez Sheikh and the new ambassador to the US, Sherry Rehman. The title of the discussion was ‘Pakistan: The Untold Story’. Umair happened to accompany me to this particular event, and we both were bemused and frustrated by the level of discussion. The purpose of the event, a small gathering held at the World Bank, was to tell people that it is not all doom and gloom in Pakistan. I thought it was a brilliant idea, get the academic community in DC jazzed about Pakistan, and to get them to look beyond the negativity that surrounds the country. However, what ended up happening was that the Pakistanis on the panel began to paint a picture of sunshine and roses blooming back home - i.e. they took 'positive' to a whole different level.


Let me give you a few examples. When asked “What inspires you about Pakistan”, Dr. Sheikh started with  the most generic and boring answer under the sun (not very inspiring at all). It seemed he was doing his best to put the audience to sleep, and he succeeded as I shit you not, the woman sitting next to me was snoozing 10 minutes into Hafeez sahab opening his mouth. I, however, was well aware of this tactic of the Finance Minister, and used all my training of college to stay alert and attentive to what he was saying. It was rambling about how the poetry of Faaiz inspires him, or some story of a trip of his to Sindh and how that inspired him. One thing that did stick out to me was how he mentioned the “Physics of Prof. Abdus Salaam”. Prof. Salaam of course was the first and only Pakistani to win a Nobel Prize, but has been shunned in history because of being an Ahmadi. It is quite sad how our greatest ever achievement as a nation has been hidden from most of the population because of Prof. Salam’s religious orientation. So to say Prof. Salaam inspires him while he continues to be a part of a government that ignores crimes against Ahmadis is strange.               

     
Another Pakistani on the panel, Mohsin Khan, was far more entertaining. Somehow he had a British accent even though he grew up in Pakistan and lives in DC, but who am I to judge. Anyway, on to more trivial things like the content of what he was saying; Mohsin sahab is off the opinion that the economy is “booming”. To be a little more fair to Mr. Khan’s comment, he further elaborated by saying the “informal economy” is booming. So basically, the only part of the economy that is booming is the part which we by definition cannot quantify. Even if the informal economy is growing, it is doing little to affect the single most important economic issue in Pakistan: inflation. It’s hard to imagine an economy “booming” with the inflation levels we have. I did agree with Mr. Khan’s point though that we should attempt to formalize the informal sector as part of a broader program of regulation, privatization and increased taxation
              

However, my favorite performance of the Pakistani trio was Ambassador Rehman. She started off her segment by trying to explain how because she was the least qualified person on the panel, she should get the most time to explain her point of view and tried to make a joke of it. No one really laughed, I think everyone was about as confused as I was. The Ambassador then proceeded to ramble on about so many things that I’m still scratching my head to figure out what she exactly said. At some point she mentioned passing the Sexual Harassment Law, which is a good achievement and worth noting. But other than that, it is extremely hard to track what exactly she was trying to say. The question originally was again, “What inspires you”, and she made.. well.. a mess of it. She also way ran over her time, kept joking about how she was ticking off the moderator, and kept going. The moderator had the last laugh though, Ambassador Rehman was not given the opportunity to speak again (Thank God).

     
The goras on the panel were a refreshing change I must say. Much better at answering the questions at hand, and Anatol Lievin in particular was very practical about his responses. He talked about the potential in Pakistan, but also about the challenges that lay ahead - something the others missed completely. The one thing all goras brought up that was echoed by our beloved Pakistani panelists was the level of philanthropy in in the country, and how it was unrivaled anywhere in the world. I strongly agree with this point, as Pakistanis as a people have very open hearts, and are always willing to give to a good cause, even the middle income folks struggling to cope with rampant inflation in the country. The problem is a lot of this money is misdirected. If we can better utilize this trait of Pakistani, perhaps get the nation to believe in a system where tax goes to development rather than lining the pockets of the corrupt, we could have something. It was nice to hear though people with experience from all over the world, singling out the philanthropy of Pakistanis as something that inspires them.

    
At the end of the day, things are bad in Pakistan. Talking about the poetry of Faaiz or the informal economy is not fooling anyone. The level of discussion was poor from the representatives of Pakistan. They were speaking as if the audience was a bunch of rednecks who can’t separate Pakistan from Yemen. That was not the case. The World Bank crowd is trained at identifying bullshit from corrupt nations so that they don’t waste their funding. Hafeez Sheikh in particular gave no reason for anyone to believe things are brighter in Pakistan. The approach, in my view, should have been to recognize the trials facing the country and chart out a plan to tackle them. Instead the focus was on trying to ignore that and point out a few rosy facts about Pakistan. That is the problem with the PPP government. Ask anybody, literally anybody, what they think about their performance in office and without hesitation they will tell you it is utterly awful. However, everyone in the PPP seems to think they have done a damn good job. Sure, they did a few good things, but just about every leadership system in Pakistan minus Zia has done something positive in 4 years of power. If the takeaway is that they are better than Zia, then we are doomed.

     
This article is a little uncharacteristic for me, as I like optimism, especially about Pakistan. However, the views expressed by Sherry Rehman and Hafeez Sheikh in particular border on denial of the current state of affairs. Problems aren’t fixed by ignoring them. Anyway, that is enough grim stuff for now, it was still fun to get to see policy makers in action while being so far from home, and there were a few good takeaways too. I hope this article gets us on our way, Emad is off from class this summer and will return home so will have more time to write, and my harassing will certainly help him get out of his rut. Umair I see every week, so he better write soon. Those two are far better writers and too intelligent to not have their voices heard.

Returning Pakistan Cricket to Pakistan

The rickshaw has been stalled for quite some time. Over 9 months to be exact. And with the other two writers, who by the way are much better writers, being far busier in life then myself, the onus has fallen on me to restart it. So I’d like to blame the gas shortage for the lack of our rickshaw making the rounds, but our rickshaw runs on a different sort of fuel – usually cricket.

Cheesy analogies aside, I couldn’t help but write something this past weekend, for something monumental has happened in the last week that simply cannot be ignored, not even by us lazy rickshaw writers. If you haven’t heard, England is paying a visit to the United Arab Emirates. After smashing the former No. 1 side in Tests, i.e. India, 4-0 at home, England took their place at the top of the perch, and were keen to show the world they can do it in Asia as well. Of course, Pakistan has been in good nick as well, though beating Bangladesh is never really anything to write home about; Sri Lanka are quickly getting worse as time goes on; and we didn’t even manage to beat the woeful West Indies outright. Still we had some form coming in, and were relishing the test.

The fact that we managed to beat England inside 3 days by 10 wickets is beyond amazing, for many reasons. The problems of Pakistan cricket with the spot-fixing scandal are well documented. Added to the mix was a crazy captain who retired from cricket only to return months later, a mad Chairman of the Board who finally got replaced, a coach who quit because of the mad captain, and jail sentences for the Pakistani cricketer involved in the spot-fixing crisis. What you end up with then is the normal stew of Pakistan cricket: power politics, inconsistency, and wacky decision-making. It has to be said, though, that this team has been different. Misbah-ul-Haq may just manage to pull of the most incredible feat in the history of Pakistan cricket: being forgiven for losing a match against India in the World Cup. Under his leadership there is a calm and stability amongst the team that I certainly have never seen, and I doubt few have. Even in the days of Imran Khan there was an element of drama. Yet at 37 years young, Misbah has managed to do what so few Pakistani captains have done before him: get his boys to play as a team.

Now comes the sad part. The test match was played in front of a few hundred supporters – a pity because this performance by the Pakistanis deserved a much better audience. Pakistan has been stripped of its rights to host cricket since the infamous shooting on the Sri Lanka cricket team. Cricket has always been an escape for us, and we have never needed a victory more than we do now. With corruption, inflation, gas shortage, electricity shortage and terrorism only a few of the things tearing the country apart, we really needed a lift like this. But imagine for a second, instead of the winning being runs in front of a few drunken Barmy Army supporters and the odd unemployed Pakistani in Dubai, that the match had instead been played in Lahore. Offices would be flooded with sick leave requests, school attendances would be at an all-time low, stores that open around noon normally wouldn’t even bother opening. Instead, the whole of Lahore would be making its way over to Gaddafi Stadium (which surprisingly has not been renamed after Bhutto like everything else this godforsaken government has gotten their hands on). The last time I saw a test match at Gaddafi, I had to sneak away in the trunk of my cousin’s car to get out of boarding school. This time around, I’m sure the my housemaster would have chartered buses to get the boys to the ground

At the moment, the buzzing of Gaddafi stadium upon the return of cricket is simply a romantic notion in my head. It shouldn’t remain that way, however. Pakistan has a list of issues longer than the Nile, Ganges and Indus put together. That does not mean we should overlook the lack of international cricket on home soil. For all the shit that we go through, we certainly deserve the opportunity to be able to take a break from it all and shout at the top of our lungs for a team that for the first time in my life at least is consistently good in the Test arena.

Wishing the return of cricket won’t make it come true. The PCB and the Government both have a role to play in ensuring that Pakistan once again hosts the greatest game there is at the international level. Bangladesh are set to tour Pakistan in April, in essence after being bribed to do so. The security for that visit needs to be far better than what it was for Sri Lanka. Speaking of which, the culprits of the Sri Lanka shootings need to be apprehended. Easier said than done, I’m sure, but it should have been of the highest priority to start off with to track down the reason behind the shootings. The domestic circuit of cricket also needs to be strengthened. Pakistan needs to be able to host domestic tournaments successfully before thinking about inviting teams other than Bangladesh or Zimbabwe. Perhaps the absence of international cricket can give the PCB an opportunity to figure out a way to get crowds to the Quaid-e-Azam trophy. These are only a few of many steps that can be taken to get us back on track to re-enter the fold of international cricket. Let’s hope that if Imran Khan is able to continue his ‘tsunami’ and gets to the top, he won’t forget about the game that got him there. In the meantime, we can all continue to enjoy the phenomenal rise of Misbah’s men!

The Dissolution of the Higher Education Commission

9 years ago, 2 exceptional men moved from the Information and Technology Ministry to the newly founded Higher Education Commission, an autonomous entity that was replacing the well-meaning but largely ineffective University Grants Commission. One was, of course, Dr. Ata ur Rehman, whose reputation precedes him. I could spend this entire article raving about Dr. Ata, who got his Ph.D. in organic chemistry from Cambridge. He has won domestic and international accolades for his outstanding contributions in the field of science and academics. I refer you to his Wikipedia page for a more comprehensive list of his achievements. The other person was my father, Dr. Sohail Naqvi. Over the last 9 years, I have seen first-hand how my father has poured his heart and soul into working towards the betterment of this country. It was, therefore, one of the saddest moments of my life when my mother called me a couple of weeks back to confirm the rumors the HEC was indeed being disbanded. Here is why you should be heartbroken about this as well:

Let me start by highlighting a few things HEC has done since it’s inauguration in 2002. Perhaps the most prominent stat is the incredible number of Ph.D. students that the HEC has helped produce. Between1947 to 2002, Pakistan produced roughly 3000 Ph.D. students. After the HEC was founded in 2002, Pakistan produced 3280 Ph.D. students in 8 years. That, of course, has helped research output grow six-fold since 2002. Second, while there have been accusations that HEC has over-invested in Punjab, the biggest investment by share has been in Khyberpakhtunkhwa. New universities have been set up in Bannu, Kohat, Malakand, Swat and Mardan. Balochistan has also seen an uptick in higher education, with 4 universities added to the 2 that already existed in 2002. Finally, there are currently over 7,500 HEC-funded scholars pursuing their Ph.Ds locally and abroad. All of these scholars are now in jeopardy of losing their scholarships as the governments tries to deal with the mess they have created. This is just scratching the surface of what HEC has accomplished, for a more comprehensive list of achievements please refer to this document, which has provided the basis for most of the facts in this article.

Moving on, let us get to the part where the government dissolves the HEC, despite opposition from almost all other major political parties including the PML-N, MQM, JI and PTI. This is being done under the direction of Raza Rabbani, the chairman of the implementation committee of the 18th Amendment. To clarify, HEC is not against devolution per se; it had, for example, already started to devolve many important tasks like faculty training to the provincial level. That, however, is only a small part of what HEC does: most tasks simply cannot be devolved efficiently. The 18th Amendment recognized this and put in place many provisions to protect the functions of HEC. An example is the following exerpt from the 18th Amendment, which highlight integral functions of the HEC:

• Fourth Schedule [Article 70(4)]: Federal Legislative List Part I
• Item # 16: Federal agencies and institutes for the following purposes, that is to say, for research, for professional or technical training, or for the promotion of special studies.
• Item # 17: Education as respects Pakistani students in foreign countries and foreign students in Pakistan.
• Item # 32: International treaties, conventions and agreements and International arbitration.
• Item # 59: Matters incidental or ancillary to any matter enumerated in this Part.

To find a way around this, Raza Rabbani and his Committee have decided to play musical chairs with the functions of the HEC that cannot be devolved. For example, the degree verification function is being transferred from the HEC to the cabinet division. This, beyond its recent role in determining eligibility for public office, is of vital importance. In order for anyone to be able to seek work outside Pakistan, they had to get their degree verified by the HEC. This is in part because HEC has earned membership of the Asia Pacific Quality Network, as well as the Network of Quality Assurance Agencies of the World. These prestigious memberships are not transferable, so the international recognition of Pakistani degrees will be devalued once the Cabinet Ministry takes over verification duties. Despite this, under the plan to dissolve the HEC degree attestation will come under the cabinet division, and the hard work done by the HEC in establishing the credibility of a Pakistani degree will be lost. Instead, people like Rehman Malik and company will be in charge of determining validity of Pakistanis' degrees.

As alluded to earlier, one of the many drawbacks of this dissolution plan is that the funding and studies of Pakistani scholars studying abroad through HEC programs would be in jeopardy. This is another function of HEC that is not being devolved, but simply being moved to the Ministry of Inter-Provincial Coordination, where Raza Rabanni himself is the minister. These programs are under jeopardy because they are being funded through loans coming from the IMF and World Bank, as the government allocated zero funding towards the HEC in the past fiscal year. The World Bank and USAID came to the rescue, giving HEC loans of US $300 million and US $250 million respectively. These loans are contingent on the assumption that HEC stays as it is, so Raza Rabanni’s recent assurance in the press that these scholars would be unaffected by this move is simply untrue.

This is only the beginning of our defense of HEC here at the rickshaw. Hopefully we will have more literature up for you in the coming days about all aspects of the dissolution of HEC. For now, please join the movement to stop this madness on Facebook at: http://www.causes.com/causes/597948.

I watched the match with 200 Indians.

In the lead up to what undoubtedly is the most important cricket match I have witnessed in my life I read probably over 100 articles about the epic India-Pakistan semi-final. Many of them were fascinating to read, including an article from the Times of India about the Punjabi connection this match was facilitating. However, there was one in particular I disagreed with; the ‘Dil Bolay Boom Boom’ article. To sum up, basically the Pakistani writer here says she just simply can’t watch an India cricket game with her dear Indian friend. No two nations in the world love cricket more than India and Pakistan, and fans of these two countries should be able to watch games together. I, therefore, was all too happy to confirm my involvement in a joint screening of the cricket match on campus.

So come the day, finally, and my guess that not too many fair weather fans would show up at 4 am was way off. The Michigan Cricket Association did a brilliant job organizing the screening of the match on campus, and an hour before the match started the crowd started to trickle in. By the time of the toss there was a good 150 odd people in a room not built for more than 70, but what good would a India-Pakistan game be if we weren’t packed like a can of sardines. The noise level was incredible, with the Indians accounting for a good chunk of that. In our crowd which eventually grew close to 300, Indians outnumbered Pakistanis by, I’d say, at least 4:1. That didn’t deter us one bit, we were being heard as well. No one had a hope in hell of hearing the toss, our crowd was just too raucous.

With such a momentous occasion it was hard not to be a bit nervous about things perhaps going south with some of the animosity that can naturally exist between the two nations. However, MCA did a brilliant job of making sure everyone was able to watch the game in the right spirit. There, of course, were a few incidents that in hindsight should have been avoided but really nothing more than a blip on the radar. For the most part the atmosphere was sublime. The Indians cheered every boundary with amazing fervor, and not two overs passed with a chant for the god of batting: ‘saaccchiiinnnnn sachin!’ Of course, we did our best, amusing the Indians with our ‘tara-rere-roro-ra’ chant. The best part was that everyone was joining in, from unknown grad students who randomly stopped by to freshmen still finding their way: no one was holding back anything. I must admit I tried to stay calm but when Wahab bhai shattered the stumps of Yuvraj Singh, I was overcome with sheer elation. I beat my chest so many times and so hard I knocked my own breath out, but thankfully no one noticed in the commotion! The Pakistanis overall were a joy to watch the match with. They were all well behaved, kept their cool and showed incredible grace as our team headed towards the exit door.

The second innings was a much calmer affair. We shifted to a larger room and there was more segregation. People were also losing steam, as the all-nighters start to catch up and the voices slowly disappeared. However, they came roaring back on the Indian side when Kamran Akmal got caught at point for about the 10,000th time of his career. Hafeez’s dismissal brought more noise in anger from the Pakistanis than it did in joy for the Indians. The match was close enough that the Indians were nervous till the end, but the balance shifted with one magic ball. Bhajji came round the wicket with the newer ball after the mandatory change and Umar Akmal played all around a delivery that crashed into his off-stump. Pakistan may still have had a chance if we took that damn batting powerplay early. People may blame Afridi all they want, the real culprit in my eyes is Waqar Younis. As the coach, he is responsible for the poor tactical decisions made right throughout this tournament about the timing of the batting powerplays.

Take nothing away from the Indians. They were the better team and deserved to win on the day. Sachin may have been lucky to win the man of the match, but if anyone deserves a bit of luck, it is the batting god himself. Dhoni was spot on with all of his bowling changes, and only had to use 5 bowlers. The contest was fitting for the hype, and sets a stage fit for two legends to bow out. I don’t think Sachin is about to retire but I highly doubt he is going to be around when he is 41 although you never know, but it’s a safe bet to say this is his last World Cup. The other legend who is in my eyes equally great is of course the one and only Muttiah Muralitharan, whose spelling changes as often as Razzaq’s so forgive me if I don’t have the updated version of his spelling. Where Sachin has 99 tons, Murali has over 1300 wickets. Sachin is the leading runs scorer in both firms of the game, Murali is the leading wicket taker in both forms of the game. The difference is of course Sachin is at home while Murali already has a World Cup title. Whatever the outcome at least one great will end his stellar career right on top. I am going to watch the game as a true neutral. Sri Lanka has always been my second favorite team since the days of the magical Arivinda de Silva which is why I may lean towards them. I will not however root against India, some might and that’s fine, but I have no qualms about enjoying good Indian cricket.

But this is not about a preview of the final or a breakdown of the match. What moved me to write this article was the camaraderie between two amazing countries. Over the last four years at college, I have developed the most fantastic relationships with Indians stretching from Delhi to Bangalore and beyond. This match did not for one second jeopardize those friendships, in fact it strengthened them. When the final wicket of Misbah fell, before celebrating, Nirmit Agarwala, the president of MCA and the leading voice on the Indian side came over to the Pakistani side and congratulated and consoled each one of us. This was followed by my normal gang: Anant, Varun, Aaron, Baliga and many more. There was no taunting, no jeering, just cheering for a great victory. The experience of losing to India with 200-odd other Indians remains a shattering one, and the pain is here to stay for some time. However, as long as I have friends like these on both sides of the border, it is a pain I can live with.

Top 10 Bars in Ann Arbor for Non-Alcoholics

Just some places I like hitting up over the weekend, enjoy!

10. Red hawk: A quiet bar which normally caters to an older crowd, Red Hawk actually has a bit to offer for college students. If you are looking for a place to go chill out, play some cards and have some nice conversation, Red Hawk is the place for you!
X-factor: They have root beer on tap. ON TAP!

9. Scorekeepers: An honorable mention to my past employers, Skeeps is not exactly the most upscale place in town but it can be loads of fun. Tuesday, Thursday or Saturday nights it’s the place to be if you are looking for a crazy time with lots of people.
X-factor: Best staff in town. Fact.

8. Jolly Pumpkin: I really liked this place in my inaugural visit a couple of weeks back. It would be rude not to include them since they have a special section on their menu for non-alcoholic beverages.
X-factor: The ambiance. The lighting is simply fantastic, surprisingly rare for bars around here as Ricks and Skeeps so aptly demonstrate.

7. Connors: No town in America would be complete without an Irish bar, there is one on every block in new york for crying out loud. Connors is good for catching a champions league games, the food is great and reasonably priced.
X-Factor: Bread pudding. Amazingly good and at a couple of bucks a real bargain!

6. Bab’s: A less known bar located just behind Main Street on Ashley’s, this place was quite the discovery for me. It is underground with two layers in the bar and a unique ambiance inside. There are pool tables to chill out or at the lower level a nice social area to mingle.
X- factor: It actually is a cigar lounge!

5. Heidelberg: The restaurant itself would make this place worth visiting, the bar underground just adds to the appeal. Even on slow nights the atmosphere down there is alive, I attribute that to the unique architecture. My housemate tried to explain how it had some awesome acoustic set-up, all I know is that it works!
X-factor: This place has the best Wiener schnitzel this side of the Huron River.

4. Bar Loiue: if there is a straight laced honest to goodness Muslim in this world it’s my father, and I took him to Bar Loiue when he came to visit me two years ago. He loved it. The food is awesome, and their virgin pina-colada reminded me of Papasallis back home in Islamabad.
X-factor: Dollar burger Tuesdays. Need I say more?

3. Charley’s: Everybody’s favorite college bar, Charley’s is the place to be. It has by God the greasiest food I have come across since Blimpy, and it is so good. The burgers just drip with deliciousness (except for the veggie burgers, please don’t try it, I did, took me weeks to get the taste out). The root beer float is nothing fancy, just IBC and ice cream but something about the atmosphere makes it taste so much better!
X-factor: Pizza sticks. Whether you go for the non-pork option like me or the pepperoni sticks like the rest of the world, you can’t go wrong. I should probably warn you that you might die of a heart attack eating these things, but you will die in bliss!

2. Rush Street: No root beer. No food. No worries. If you want to get down tonight, go to rush street. It has the most insane beat going through the club. And the crowd there is high class, none of that Rick’s garbage. I used to be a shy dancer, barely busting a move. Then I went to rush street and could not help myself.
X-factor: Live drums on the dance floor. There is this guy playing the bongos and some other drums and the cymbals, matching up the beat to what the DJ is spinning. Insane.

1. Ashley’s: The best of the best, Ashley’s will always be my No. 1 bar to go to. The BBQ burger is about as good as I have ever had, the pesto fries are delicious but way better are the curry fries. The only way I can explain them really is if someone poured haleem on fries, what a bloody brilliant idea!
X-factor: You guessed it- root beer! The root beer from the gun is awesome, cheap and refills are free! If you are in a fancier mood as I sometimes am, root beer is also served of some brand I can’t remember. It is expensive at just over 3 bucks but wow is it worth it!

The Sports Rundown

So a lot of our stuff has been quite serious lately, and we have lost focus of the most important thing in the world, SPORTS! Here is the rundown of sport stories the Rickshaw has been following:

Hearings of Asif, Aamer and Butt: After months of speculation and venting, we finally get to the point where the three musketeers were supposed to be dished out their punishment. Oh wait, the damn verdict was delayed to the 5^th of February. Now I am not in favor of allowing any of these three to play in the World Cup, but this delay basically all rules them out of our World Cup Squad without any conviction which is just stupid. Zaheer Abbas called the delay ‘absurd’ and I have to agree with the master batsman. The funny thing is that during the hearings the three started to turn on each other, each of them having a different version of events and Butt seemed to come off the worse; he is now the only player to be under investigation for the Oval Test as well as the Lord’s Test. I have no idea what is going to happen, but it looks like Aamer may get off easier than the others, which a lot of people are okay with. Personally, I would like to see some remorse from him and a public apology but whatever, as long as the other two morons get put away I will be happy, especially Butt!

New Zealand Tour: In the midst of the madness of the hearings Pakistan cricket continued in traditional fashion. Martin Guptill, who no longer has to deal with his worst nightmare Aamer, put Pakistanis to the sword in the first two T20s as the kiwis easily won the series. In the last T20, though, Pakistan murdered and I mean MURDERED the kiwis. Never in all my life have I seen a scorecard like this one, the first 4 batsmen had ducks! Typical. Moving on, Pakistan managed to win its first test series since 2006 as Misbah has just caught fire lately. Well done Pakistan! Shame on those who say test cricket is dead, I love every second of it! Anyway that ODI’s start later today, and a strong looking Pakistan start as favorite, what do you know!

Michigan Football on the UP! After a New Year’s mauling at the hand of Mississippi State former pizza extraordinaire and current Athletic Director Dave Brandon got rid of Rich Rod. Goodbye and good riddance. Thanks for the 3 most miserable of the 4 years I got to enjoy the Big House. At least he got Denard up here though, and he is here to stay! New coach Brady Hoke managed to convince the most dynamic guy on the planet to stay, and why wouldn’t he? He is a god amongst men on campus here. I see him often in the Union, still working up the courage to say hi, one of these days… Anyway, the most awesome thing to happen after Hoke getting hired was that somehow, almost inexplicably he recruited former Ravens defensive coordinator Greg Mattison to be the defensive coordinator here. The Ravens have consisitently had the most awesome defense in the league over the past couple of years, and his hire will help us get back on the map. Michigan is on its way back baby, watch out! I don’t know what 2012 holds in store for me, but I know that even if I have to sell my house and car and goats and camels and cows, I will in order to get to Cowboys Stadium to watch Michigan vs. Alabama. Be there!

Rafa Slam: Finally our eyes turn to the Down Under where Rafael Nadal is going for the ‘Rafa Slam’. Rafa has won the last three majors and will go for an unprecedented fourth in a row, being the first guy in a lonnggggg time to hold all 4 majors at once. My personal favorite, Federer, looks a shadow of his old self, needing 5 sets to get through some no name that he already lost to twice. Things are looking good for the Spaniard!

The Pakistan I Remember

In my last post I took quite a bit of flak from a few friends for being overly optimistic and not being quite in touch with reality. In hindsight perhaps I was a bit over the top, but that was the point. One point that drew particular wrath from a friend of mine was where I said 'Our Generation' was a cause of hope for the future. Maybe I wasn't quite clear about what I meant, all I was trying to get at was that Pakistan 10 years ago was on average a better live for Pakistanis then it is today. My younger brother who is 9 years younger then me does not have all the same privileges that I did while growing up. Anyway, I recently came across this wonderful piece by Manal Khan, and expresses what I am trying to say a lot better. Now the direction of the article is a little different, my top 10 was about things to look forward to whereas Manal is comparing the glory of her childhood to the current state of affairs. However the part that I really enjoyed is where Manal described the Pakistan where she grew up, and it is a Pakistan that I can relate to but my younger brother can't. Enjoy!

Hearts and Minds

You’ve got to hand it to the American government: they’ve got their priorities straight and hearts in the right place when it comes to renouncing extremism. It’s a quality our representatives lack, a fact that’s become even more evident in the wake of the Taseer assassination.

Exhibit A is a speech – a wonderful, inspiring, honest speech – from Obama in remembrance of the victims of the Arizona shooting. It was a speech you wished President Zardari had the courage and temerity to give. But that, alas, is wishful thinking.

Exhibit B is a letter from Representatives Israel, Ackerman, King and McCaul, addressed to Hillary Clinton, which requests that further visas “should not be issued to people (visa holders who condone the crime) and that applications for new visas from those who have endorsed this heinous crime be denied.”

Another great gesture? Not quite.

Now I’m sure King et al. mean well but, quite frankly, the latter of these requests is one ridiculous stipulation. For multiple reasons. I am not, by any means, condoning or even tacitly supporting the Fanatic Qadri Supporters (FQS). Our stance on that is clear, obvious and appropriately sensible. What I really want to understand is how the State Department, Homeland Security and the US Government in general hope to implement this ridiculous idea and identify those who endorse the assassination.

Here are reactions to a few ideas:

(1) Stalk Facebook: Never thought those seemingly pointless hours checking out that girl from LSE would count as valuable training for professional life? Think again; the US Embassy needs YOU. It wants you to sit 9-5 scouring and stalking visa applicants for any information that suggests membership of the FQS. But that itself will be tricky: sure, the vilified Gaga/Cyrus/Qadri fans will be easy enough to detect. But what if we expand the definition of FQS members and, for example, include those not actively condemning Qadri on Facebook as a signal of tacit consent, approval and surreptitious winks for the Right? Why, I bet 80% of all internet users in Pakistan would be disqualified. Who cares, though? Jobs don’t get any sweeter.

(2) Rigorous interviewing processes: I can imagine what this process will be like, if past experiences provide any evidence of DHS competence:

“Do you support Qadri? No. What colour is your hair? Black. No, it’s dark brown. Now go into that corner until you’re ready to stop lying and renounce your extremist ways.”

Alternatively, they could be smarter and pick up on common trends members of the FQS exhibit: “Identify this song: ‘Babyy-Babyy-Babyy-ooh…’” “Umm…that’s kind of a weird question but Justin Bieber?” “Aha! I knew it: trying to slip your fanaticism past me, boy?”

(3) Pinpointing petal-showering lawyers/clerics: That’s a pretty good starting point, right? Those lawyers deserve not being able to visit Times Square for the 2012 ball drop. In fact, I’m pretty sure they’d still be marching on the streets and garlanding Qadri even if they had the option of becoming taxi drivers on Devon Street, Chicago.

(4) Stringent screening procedures: I find it extremely difficult to believe that any screening process, barring those that border on the extreme, would provide sufficient evidence of FQS membership. Even if it did, it would inevitably be questionable. And again, what if you were to expand the logical grounds for FQS membership to include tacit consent? No visas for those extremist Pakistanis, I’m afraid. But I’m sure Zaid Hamid and Ahmed Quraishi would be happy with more evidence of American Zionism (!). Next conspiracy theory: they’re just trying to round us up in one place so they can finish us all off with the next HAARP-induced flood.

So I’m sure creating a policy that bans visa issuance to Qadri supporters is the best possible way to condemn the tragic Taseer assassination while simultaneously mitigating security threats and reversing what seems to be a growing tendency of Pakistanis to endure injustice. In fact, I really think the prospect of not meeting Lady Gaga in person will get the FQS to change its views. And Rehman Malik, too. Or is there an exception for incompetent government officials in this policy?

My point, condescending sarcasm aside, is that there are no reliable and reasonable metrics to ascertain support for Qadri, especially when the bounds of the definition are stretched. Salman Taseer could have been remembered more appropriately, for example, by another exceptional speech; homeland security would have remained unchanged; and ‘growing extremist tendencies’ could have been addressed better by supporting and strengthening local policies. To expect stricter immigration rules to address the matter is, in truth, a bit like expecting Twitter to initiate an uprising in Libya.

Will The Political Establishment Wake Up?

Here is an article written by Haider Raza about the recent murder of the late Salman Taseer. I could not agree more about his take on how Islam is being distorted by extremists, so I though I'd share this with you. You can read more of what Haider has to say here.

RIP Salmaan Taseer

Death, as they say, has a strange way of defining legacy. In life, you have critics, detractors, even enemies. But in death, when introspection gradually turns emotions to rationality, you see a far clearer picture of what life represented.

Which is why who would have thought that Salmaan Taseer, until minutes before his death the flamboyant villain in the Sharifs' Punjabi fiefdom, would turn into a martyr for minority rights? Who would've thought that everyone from the United Nations to the United States would eulogize a man who until two years back was a peripheral figure in the country's political scene, to say the least?

The cause he championed is a critical one for Pakistan's future. But the failure of a cause is not the failure of a nation. Minority rights are a prickly issue anywhere in the world. Ask a Western European politician to speak out for Muslim immigrants and hear the silence. Even in the US, the bastion of religious freedom, the Ground Zero mosque was contentious for all and sundry (including the President, who backtracked from his initial support). This is a world enveloped in intolerance. Sadly, Pakistan ends up raising the bar from time to time.

That is where legacy comes in. Most politicians would shirk from such issues because they have deep political consequences. In violent countries like Pakistan, they have human consequences as well. So for those for whom the present trumps the future, it makes sense to acquiesce to the crowd. Many would even climb on their backs, against their principals, as we've seen happen recently. But where does that leave them when it is all said and done, and the historian picks up the pen to define them?

Clearly behind the tiny sliver who choose to take a stand, irrespective of the way the wind blows. These men and women risk it all not because of some innate goodness, but because they believe in a small thing such as hope. That standing up for what you believe might, just might, also be politically successful. Sadly, more than often it is not, and they pay for it with their lives.

Salmaan Taseer was never a great politician. Yet, his death has ignited a firestorm of opinion, some of it grotesque yes, but one that is also far and beyond the stature of the political role he had during his life. Only those who take a courageous stand and risk losing it all earn that king-sized legacy. When the emotion wears off, his killers will wonder how killing a man who raised a voice for an innocent woman implicated in a false case, was wajib-ul-qatal. When this intolerance consumes one of them, because it is only too long until there is difference of opinion on something, they will wonder why they unleashed this monster.

So, RIP Governor Sahab. They might curse you, celebrate your death, but they will never, ever forget you. No one will. That is the legacy men like you end up with.

Top 10 reasons why 2011 won't be 2012 for Pakistan

In no particular order, here are 10 reasons why the upcoming year is not the end of the world (2012!) for Pakistan. There might by 100 better reasons, but this is what I could come up with, enjoy!

Mian Iftikhar: The tale of Mian Iftikhair Hussain, Information Minister for Khyber Pakhtunkhwa, is one of the most heart wrenching stories of this past year. His son was mercilessly martyred by the Taliban, and in response, Mian Sahib gave a press conference with great poise and elegance where he spoke of his loss and how he will continue to fight for what he believes in. There was no time for Mian Sahib, who soon after losing his son had to deal with the catastrophe that the floods brought, but like the true patriot that he is, he was in the news every day giving updates and asking for help. As long as even one person like Mian Iftikhar Hussain is in our government, this country has more than a hope of turning things around.

Abdul Razzaq: Abdul Razzaq has had his troubles with the Pakistan team. After being inexplicably dropped from the first T20 World Cup squad, he spent time in wilderness. While he has recently crept back into the line-up, he hasn't been the Razzaq of old, who was once compared to the great Jacques Kallis. All that changed when, in the midst of the ongoing drama serial that is Pakistan cricket, he strolled out into the middle against South Africa in Abu Dhabi. The rest, as they say, is history. Here are the last 12 balls of that epic innings. No matter how bad it gets for Pakistan cricket, we are always in with a chance. Don’t count us out of the World Cup just yet.

Pakistan Army: The Army’s ill-advised forays into politics over the last 60 years have been well documented, but things this year were different. There were no explicit political statements or moves made from the GHQ, instead they were doing what they do best, helping people. International response to the floods was slow, but from the first second the heavens opened up, the army was out there airlifting supplies and doing everything else. Let's hope that continues. Pak Fauj Zindabad!

Blackberry app: A good story to highlight the potential that Pakistan has is this one. The bestselling Blackberry app is made in Lahore. Quite the achievement!

Asma Jehangir: Umair already mentioned this, but like Aisam this is worth repeating. The lawyer community has been at the epicenter of change recently with Asma Jehangir being in the thick of things. She has made a few trips to jail for her troubles but her success this year serves as inspiration for all and in particular women to get out and do something!

Roshaneh Zafar: This story caught my eye in the New York Times a while back. The story is that of a women fighting terrorism in the way it should be done. Rather than go in guns blazing, Roshaneh Zafar goes a different route. One way to tackle terrorism is to address a major root cause: poverty. But as Zafar says in the article “Charity is limited, capitalism isn’t”. In 1996 Zafar returned to Pakistan and founded Kashf, a microfinance organization which now has up till now dispersed more the $200 million to more than 300,000 families. If that’s not a reason to believe in Pakistan than I don’t know what is.

Aisam ul haq: Again, Umair beat me to the punch by highlighting the triumph that is Aisam ul Haq Qureshi so I won’t go into much detail, but if anything belongs on this list it is Aisam’s ability to unite two countries and do his bit to remove misconceptions about Pakistan. An honorable mention is made here to the Bryan brothers, who define the sport of doubles tennis. They won the final at the US Open but were very graceful in victory and donated a share of their winnings to the Pakistani flood victims.

Our generation: The older I get the more I realized how privileged I was. Blame Musharraf for whatever you like, during his time, at least from 1999-2006 Pakistan was a stable, progressive state. The Karachi Stock Exchange was amongst the fastest growing markets in the world. Ties with India were at an all-time high, (I even got to witness a Pakistan-India cricket game at Gadaffi stadium!). Things are different now; my little brother does not get to watch a Pakistan-Bangladesh cricket game in Pindi, let alone anything else. The generations before us had to put up with the horror of Zia’s era, but we were privileged, at least I think so. There is optimism amongst our ranks to make things right again, and better than they were. The general feeling I get from talking to my friends is that we are going to go back to Pakistan with quality education to change things for the better. Only time will tell, but I have a good feeling about us.

Cowasjee: I will leave this story to the far superior writing ability of my uncle, which actually inspired me to write this piece, but to sum up, we have seen worse and got through it.

Music: through it all, our musicians have managed to inspire and a voice for a cause for change. Nothing sums that up better than this song by Atif Aslam and Strings. A special shout out to Talal and Zoi who are making waves in the music industry. With tunes like this to lead us into the future something has to go right!